Big Loss
Today I was beat up in the market. I’m trying to figure out what happened. I hate days like this - they are a blow to the confidence.
I think the problem is that I get too excited some days and end up breaking rules.
Even though I knew it was not certain that yesterday was a bottom (and even if it was, I knew it didn’t mean that the market had to go straight up from there), I was unconsciously excited about it this morning and I jumped in too quickly and with too much.
Today I traded like a loser. If I continue to act like this, I will fail. The thought of failing scares me, because I love to trade and don’t want to go back to the office cubicle.
On a day like this I think to myself, maybe I am not cut out for it. Like I said, it is a blow to the confidence.
Usually after a few hours the wound starts to heal and I regain most of my confidence. It is good though, in a way, because it gives me an opportunity to learn from my mistakes and become better. It is also a humbling experience when I become too proud.
I think it’s important to post about the bad days, too, so that anyone who is thinking of trading for a living can see how hard it is. It is extremely difficult not to make simple mistakes every once in a while. The problem is that when the simple mistakes happen, they can lead to big losses. And it is hard to see yourself make the same mistakes again and again.
The question of whether or not I can succeed really is a question of whether or not I can understand and control myself. I wasn’t able to “rise above” my excitement this morning and trade my system correctly. That is why I call the stock market a “moral game” - because you need self-discipline, humilty, and an ability to stay calm in the chaos of the market. You can’t be afraid or greedy as you see your account balance move up or down in large amounts, or as you watch prices jump about.
